1. The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, "How is the president?"
2. Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.
3. I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
4. I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.
5. Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock.
6. Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.
7. About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with a prayer and closes with an investigation.
8. A fool and his money are soon elected.
9. The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.
10. This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.