Ten Things You Never Hear in Church

1. Personally, I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.

2. I hate it when someone takes our spot in the front pew.

3. The annual stewardship campaign is so inspirational!

4. I really love it when we sing hymns we don't know.

5. Let's pay our pastor so he can live like we do.

6. Pastor, please, I just have to serve on a committee.

7. I enjoy worship so much I wish it would last an extra half hour.

8. Pastor, we want to send you to a conference in Hawaii.

9. I wish the sermons were longer.

10. Don't ask someone else; let me do it.