This 85-year-old couple died in a car crash after having been married almost 60
years. They had been in good health the last ten years mainly due to her
interest in health food and exercise. When they reached the pearly gates, St.
Peter took them to their mansion which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen,
a bathroom and spa. As they "oohed and aahed" the old man asked Peter how much
all this was going to cost. "It's free," Peter replied, "this is heaven."
Next they went out back to survey the championship golf course at the back of
the home. They could play golf everyday, and each week the course changed to a
new one representing the great golf courses on earth.
The old man asked: "What are the green fees?"
Peter's reply: "This is heaven. You play for free."
Next they went to the club house and saw the lavish buffet lunch with the
cuisines of the world laid out.
"How much to eat?" asked the old man.
"Don't you understand yet? This is heaven, it is free!" Peter replied
with some exasperation.
"Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol
tables?" the old man asked timidly.
Peter lectured: "That's the best part. You
can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you never put on weight and
you never get sick. This is heaven."
With that the old man went into a fit of anger, throwing down his hat and
stomping on it, and shrieking wildly. Peter tried to calm him down, asking him
what was wrong. The old man looked at his wife and said, "This is all your
fault. If it weren't for your blasted bran muffins and low fat yoghurt, I could
have been here ten years ago!"