A Weblog Dedicated to the Discussion of the Christian Faith and 21st Century Life

A Weblog Dedicated to the Discussion of the Christian Faith and 21st Century Life
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I do not seek to understand that I may believe, but I believe in order to understand. For this also I believe, –that unless I believed, I should not understand.-- St. Anselm of Canterbury (1033-1109)

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

The Top Ten Reasons to Be a Methodist

From my teacher and friend, Ben Witherington:

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(with apologies to and adaptation from Robin Williams Top Ten Reasons to be an Episcopalian).

10. No snake handling (a real sales feature in Kentucky).

9. You can believe in dinosaurs.

8. Male and female God created them, male and female we ordain them.

7. You don't have to check your brains at the door.

6. Even cross and flame boxer shorts are not considered a tacky Christmas gift for clergy in the UMC.

5. The church year is color coded, to make it easier to follow.

4. No alcoholic has to worry about communion causing a relapse.

3. You don't have to know how to swim to get baptized.

2. All are welcome to come as they are, but none are allowed to stay as they are— 'you must be born again and justified'!

1. We have the best hymns— hands down, even if your hands are up while singing them.

2 comments:

Bill said...

Absolutely agree with #1! I got hymns in my blood and love to sing them. It is real moving at conference when over 1000+ brothers and sisters in Christ all sing hymns in unison. How moving is that?!?!

PopLid said...

The top 10 Reasons NOT to be a Methodist
10. No snake handling. Why would you want to go?

9. They Believe in dinosaurs (and they let them PREACH).

8. They ordain females (and they let them PREACH)

7. You gotta THINK while the dinosaur is PREACHING!

6. Even cross and flame boxer shorts are not considered a tacky Christmas gift for clergy in the UMC.

5. The church doors aren't color coded, so you can't find the bathroom!

4. No alcoholic has to worry about communion causing a (convenient) relapse.

3. You gotta bathe at home! You don't have to know how to swim to get baptized.

2. The unsaved are all around you, just waitin' to forgive your sinnin'... it's awful.

1. Without a clappin' praise team, you tend to nod off during the singin, then awake surrounded by smilin' old people waitin' to forgive you....it's AWFUL!