Some Election Day Levity

Well, the nasty and slanderous campaign ads are near their end and everyone is voting if they haven't already (or they should be). So, as the political analysis of the election results will shortly begin infinitum ad nauseum, I think all of us could use a little election day humor to make it through the day. I hope you get a chuckle from these quotations on politics and politicians. Remember-- it's all in fun, so don't take any of these quotes seriously... well... except for the first one and the second one and the third... just kidding.

Asking an incumbent member of Congress to vote for term limits is a bit like asking a chicken to vote for Colonel Sanders.-- Bob Inglis

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it.-- Clarence Darrow

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.-- George Bernard Shaw

Politics is the skilled use of blunt objects.-- Lester Bowles

Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary.-- Robert Louis Stevenson

Politics, n. Strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles.-- Ambrose Bierce

The first Presidential debate was down in Florida. Residents spent all day putting plywood on their televisions.-- David Letterman

My choice early in life was either to be a piano-player in a whorehouse or a politician. And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference.-- Harry S. Truman

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.-- P.J. O'Rourke'

Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.-- Milton Berle

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.-- Texas Guinan

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.-- Will Rogers

In politics, an absurdity is not a handicap.-- Napoleon Bonaparte

The only difference I ever found between the Democratic leadership and the Republican leadership is that one of them is skinning you from the ankle up and the other from the neck down.-- Huey Long

My definition of a redundancy is an air bag in a politician's car.-- Larry Hagman

There is one sure way of telling when politicians aren't telling the truth—their lips move.-- Felicity Kendall

A politician is a person with whose politics you don't agree; if you agree with him he's a statesman.-- David Lloyd George

It is fast approaching the point where I don't want to elect anyone stupid enough to want the job.-- Erma Bombeck

The wind doesn't bother me. I'm in the US Senate.-- Bob Dole

An election is coming. Universal peace is declared and the foxes have a sincere interest in prolonging the lives of the poultry.-- T.S. Elliot

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The term "politics" comes from two words-- "poly" meaning "many," and "ticks" meaning "blood sucking parasites."-- Larry Hardiman