It's So Hot Outside...

In honor of the heat wave that is currently scorching many of us, I offer the following gathered from Facebook friends, the Internet, and my memory... and some I've even made up myself.

It's so hot outside chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.

It's so hot outside Tabasco Sauce feels cool on the skin.

It's so hot outside I saw two trees fighting over a dog.

It's so hot outside the cows are giving evaporated milk.

It's so hot outside politicians are taking their hands out of your pockets to fan themselves.

It's so hot outside birds are using potholders to pull worms out of the ground

It's so hot outside hell is considering opening a branch office.

It's so hot outside, I saw a funeral procession pull into a Dairy Queen.

It's so hot outside that I discovered asphalt has a liquid state.

It's so hot outside, I'm eating jalapenos to cool off my mouth.

It's so hot outside you can make instant sun tea.

It's so hot outside you learn that a seat belt makes a real effective branding iron.

It's so hot outside the Devil is wearing shorts and a sleeveless shirt.