A Weblog Dedicated to the Discussion of the Christian Faith and 21st Century Life

A Weblog Dedicated to the Discussion of the Christian Faith and 21st Century Life
I do not seek to understand that I may believe, but I believe in order to understand. For this also I believe, –that unless I believed, I should not understand.-- St. Anselm of Canterbury (1033-1109)

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Definitions that Makes Sense In a Wacky Sort of Way

ANTIQUE: An item your grandparents bought, your parents got rid of, and you're buying again.

ARBITRATOR (ar'-bi-tray'-ter): An employee that leaves Arby's to work at Burger King.

BALDERDASH: A rapidly receding hairline.

BATHROOM: A room used by the entire family, believed by all except Mom to be self-cleaning.

CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

CONFERENCE: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

DERANGE: Where de buffalo roam.

DUMBWAITER: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

ETC: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

ETERNITY: The last two minutes of a football game.

FABLE: A story told by a teenager arriving home after curfew.

FATHER: A banker provided by nature.

GOSSIP: A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.

GUM: Adhesive for the hair.


HINDSIGHT: What one experiences from changing too many diapers.

INDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MISER: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

MYTH: A female moth.

OVERSTUFFED RECLINER: Mom's nickname for Dad.

PARADOX (par'-u-doks'): Two physicians.

PHILOSOPHER: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

POLITICIAN: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

PRIMATE (pri'-mate'): Removing your husband from in front of the TV.

PUDDLE: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.

REFRIGERATOR: Combination art gallery and air-conditioner for the kitchen.

SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time.

SHOW OFF: A child who is more talented than yours.

STERILIZE: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.

TOP BUNK: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.

TWO-MINUTE WARNING: When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

VEGETARIAN: Old Indian word for bad hunter.

ZUCCHINI: Vegetable which can be baked, boiled, fried or steamed before kids refuse to eat it.


Paul Jeffrey said...

Your quote of the week is from ROBERT McAfee Brown.

Allan R. Bevere said...

Oops! Thanks, Paul.