You ever have one of those days when you wish you could do just what you wanted instead of having to move from one obligation to the next? I certainly have... in fact, I am having one of those days as I write this post. Nothing dramatic has happened today to make me feel this way, except that I have had to attend one too many meetings. Actually, as far as I am concerned, one meeting in a day is one too many, but when it's more than one, I begin to wonder how many years I have until retirement. I have said many times that when I enter the Kingdom, if the first item on the schedule is a meeting, I'm outta there!Most days I do not feel this way. I love my life. I am blessed with a wonderful family. I love being a husband and a dad more than anything. I also love being a pastor and a professor and a writer. I cannot complain whatsoever about my existence. But I do have these periodic moments when I think how nice it would be to be on my own schedule.
I wonder if Jesus ever had one of those "I wish I could do what I want" days. If he did the gospels never recorded it. Yes, there is the Garden of Gethsemane story when Jesus asked if there might be another way to achieve salvation apart from his death, but that was an extreme situation. We have to give Jesus that one. But I wonder if he ever had more mundane moments when he wished the crowds would leave him alone just for a little while. I wonder if he had times when he didn't want to teach the same ole' parables again. In moments of great opposition did Jesus ever think about chucking it all as some in the midst of today's "rat race" have done, and spend the rest of his life fishing on the Sea of Galilee?
Yes, Jesus did get away to pray and spend time with his Heavenly Father. All of us should do that regardless of the kind of life we lead. But, I just wonder if Jesus ever had a moment like the one I am having now; I wonder if he looked at the sunshine as I am doing now and thought, "I wish I could do what I want instead of what I must."
Lord, Jesus, I like to think you had such moments in your earthly life, but even if you didn't, give me strength now because the obligations I must fulfill today cannot be ignored. And as I do what I must, remind me of the joy I have in what I do because, most of the time, it is also what I want to do. Thank you for the calling and the necessary obligations you have given me. Amen.
10 comments:
My my Allan, what a brave man! Most of us won't mention those thoughts in such a public way! Some of us will not speak those thoughts to ourselves. Let me ask you a silly question, If you were to do what you want instead of what you must, what would you do? I suspect that a good day off for fun and hilarity would do you some good. But in the end, I think you would choose to do many of the things you are currently doing. Maybe your pace could be a bit easier than it currently is.
I have days when I wish I was without pain (have even wished my husband could feel it for 2 minutes so he would understand when I complain). But then I remind myself there are so many much worse off then me, I am thankful I was the one injured (not my son that was with me), and even that I survived to complain. Then I thank God I have a sweet understanding doctor, who scatches his beard and shakes his head at me sometimes, but still helps. And that we have health insurance...even though somedays it hardly pays.
*gee I should write on my own blog! :o)
That is my existence for the most part, pure and simple. At least on weekdays. But God gives me joy in spite of that, and at least the grace to stick with it and grow as well as go through it.
Yes, when I was your age I did, but now, at 88 and long since 'retired', I find I have days when I long for the structure and discipline that having to attend all those meetings gave to my life!
We came to the end of Disciple 4 in July and now, without it, my Bible study is much more haphazard (and not nearly so fruitful). This year has been my church's Centenary year and, apart from all the extra meetings/events to attend, I've been kept extra busy watching deadlines to make sure that I fulfil my role as Media Publicity Officer. I've now sent out my last bulletin, and now, when (without the Disciple Course and the Centenary publication) I have time to do what I want, I'm not doing any of the things I wanted to do! I'm longing for some sort of schedule to keep me focussed!
It's like when my husband died and I therefore had no-one else to consider in planning meals, I thought, 'Oh, good, I can eat what I want now.' But I found that what I fancied when shopping I no longer wanted to eat when I was back at home!
I, at least, need some rhythm and discipline in my life to 'keep me singing till the break of day'.
Bruce,you are right. I would do basically what I am doing now. I already know that retirement for me will not be lounging by a swimming pool, but lots of writing and some teaching. Although it would be nice to get in a little more fishing now and then.
Olive, how much I appreciate your very wise words of wisdom!
sorry about that rambling comment of mine..looked like I was having "one of those days!"
:o)
DBMom,
You weren't rambling at all.. and we have all had "one of those days." In the midst of your own personal difficulties, I like what you say, that you remind yourself there are people worse off than you. That is wisdom that I need to hear.
I also liked what you said about your son. I have said on numerous occasions that if someone in my house must get a deadly illness, I choose for it to be me.
Thanks again!
Ted,
From what I have gleaned from your blog and our interaction by email, I have no doubt that you are a blessing to your co-workers and that people seek you out for your wisdom. You indeed have gravitas.
I look forward to (finally) meeting you face-to-face on Monday.
last year on the anniversary date of our wreck my son sent me an ecard said something like "even though you almost killed me, I still love you." gotta love that kid :D
DBMom:
Ha!... How funny indeed!
Post a Comment