A Weblog Dedicated to the Discussion of the Christian Faith and 21st Century Life

A Weblog Dedicated to the Discussion of the Christian Faith and 21st Century Life
I do not seek to understand that I may believe, but I believe in order to understand. For this also I believe, –that unless I believed, I should not understand.-- St. Anselm of Canterbury (1033-1109)

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

You Might Be a ____________ If... #3

Another post on "You Might be a ______________ If."

You might be Southern Baptist if,

1. you honestly believe that the Apostle Paul spoke King James English.

2. you judge the quality of the sermon by the amount of sweat worked up by the preacher.

3. you've never sung the third verse of any hymn.

4. your definition of fellowship has something to do with food.

5. you think "Amazing Grace" is the national anthem.

6. you believe God's presence is strongest in the last three pews.

7. you think Jesus actually used Welch's grape juice at the Last Supper.

8. you judge the quality of the service by its length.

9. you think someone who says "Amen" during the sermon might be charismatic.

10. you believe John the Baptist is the founder of the SBC.


Rev. Kidd said...

Okay it's time to pick on us Lutherans

you might be a Lutheran if when someone says "May the force be with you" you say"and also with you".

Include Book of Concord, Small catechism, pot-lucks and Beer
oh yes real wine in communion

Anonymous said...

I like this post. Most of the points are almost true about Southern Baptists.

Allan R. Bevere said...

Those are great ones!

We already picked on the Lutherans.


Anonymous said...

As a Southern Baptist, there are a few you left out:

* You have mistaken a craving for fried chicken as the call to preach.

* You think Moonies are foreign missionaries.

* You are deeply concerned that the last hymn in the new hymnal is No. 666

* You don't know why you never call the Lord's Supper "communion" but are sure those who do are wrong.

* You've ever made a visitor move because they were sitting in "your" pew.

* You've started wondering when they will get that Cooperative Program paid off.

* You picture Jesus preaching the Sermon on the Mount in a pen-striped suit.

* You think the "Holy City" is Nasheville.

* You wonder why "Battle Hymn of the Republic" is in the hymnal, but "Dixie" isn't. You conclude its the work of liberals.

* You think the expressions "Historic Baptist Principles" and "the way we did it when I was growing up" are interchangeable.

* You have reminded more than one person that when Bill Clinton did you-know-what with you-know-whom, that he was attending a Methodist Church.

* You've listened to a children sermon that plugged tithing.

* You still feel guilty about switching to the NIV